my mum: “I watch the movie “The Pretty Girl” (Pretty Woman) every night, I’m always happy that they stay together at the end, they dated such a long time.”
my mum: “Why didn’t you tell me you got married?”
me: “Well, I’ve been married for 31 years mum.”
my mum: “I would remember that, if that were true.”
me: “Oh, well, I’ve been really busy, I forgot to mention it.”
me: “Why is your garbage can out mum?”
my mum: “Because it’s Friday and that’s when the garbage people come.”
me: “Today is Thursday, mum.”
my mum: “Today is Friday, Sylvia”
me after pausing and realizing she’s 100 percent correct: “Yes, today is Friday mum, you’re right.”
my mum: “I’m always right.”
on our way to the store, my mum: “Who sings this song?”
me: “Johnny Cash”
my mum: “Is he still alive?”
me: “No, he’s not.”
my mum: “Oh, that makes me so sad”.
on our way home from the store, my mum: “Who sings this song?”
me: “Johnny Cash”
my mum: “Is he still alive?”
me: “Yes, he’s alive.”
my mum: “I wonder what he’s doing right now?”
me: “I wonder too.”
spanishwoods 
The sad truth about dementia 😔.
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Yes, it is sad and often I get teary. But it can also be rather existential and funny (because I use humor as a coping mechanism). And it can be interesting and also humbling—it can be complicated, like everything else.
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That is also true. Looking at the positive side is always the best way. At least one hopes they do not suffer.
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I’m sorry about your mum, Sylvia. 🙏🏻❤️ The ceiling is beautiful!
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Thank you John. And while it is sad very often, there are also times that I can see the humor in it.
The ceiling is from the Carnegie Museum of Natural History here in Pittsburgh.
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The museum must be beautiful! I offer hugs for you and your mum. ❤️
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Appreciate it, Sylvia, that you can see some humor in your mom’s forgetfulness. I smiled when I saw your Johnny Cash statements.
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On a good day for both of us, I can and do see the humor. And sometimes I can make her see the humor too…that’s always a really good thing.
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I remember Peg’s Mom in her 90s when she sometimes didn’t know who Peggy was. Tough.
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I’m sure it was very hard on Peggy, and on you trying to navigate. It’s all very challenging.
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Poignant, the way our lives spin out. 🙏🏼 💙
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Yes, and super complicated. I spent a lifetime placing boundaries and understanding how best to navigate that relationship and now ALL the parameters have changed. Still, people all change with time and I try to find the lessons. Sometimes that works, and sometimes it doesn’t.
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🙏🏼
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So sorry to hear about your mom, Sylvia. Your piece is very poignant in its accuracy around this awful condition.
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Thank you Lynette.
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They are hard conversations Sylvia 🥰 It is good you just go with the flow knowing being insistent doesn’t work. I am lucky that wasn’t the case with my parents.
I love the still life and that ceiling is a wow
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On a good day, I go with the flow and I often do see the humor and/or the innocent pleasure of her comments. She’s told me many times that the protagonists in “The Pretty Girl” dated for a long time. There are times that I’d love to point out that the Julia Roberts character is actually a prostitute and so it wasn’t quite “dating”. But I let it go because she loves that movie and I don’t want to confuse her, still…amusing.
Also, yes, that’s just one room of that most beautiful museum. I featured another room before that was alabaster white with white statues. We’re so lucky to have such a beautiful place to visit. Mr Carnegie was very generous in his day to the city of Pittsburgh where I live and I’m very grateful.
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I am glad you don’t spoil the dream and yes it would make me smile every time
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Ahh, Sylvia – bless you. Your post brings so many memories to mind. You are so sweet and understanding. It is hard not to try and reason with your loved one who is struggling with Dementia.
I wrote many times about my mom, it served as a form of therapy. The loss goes in stages. I’ll pray for you as you walk this journey.
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Oh no, I am often not sweet and I am often not understanding and I very often “correct” or try to “reason”. Then, I go home and feel like a failure and so I read my Alzheimer’s and Dementia books and I watch Youtube episodes on Dementia and I vow to do better. There are times, I say the “right thing” and I genuinely want to get it right, but I often get it wrong—I just keep on trying.
I need all the prayers and help I can get, so I thank you.
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I know I can say don’t be too hard on yourself and you will do it anyway. But, don’t be too hard on yourself.
I beat myself up a lot and then I accepted I was doing my best and it is hard to separate what was, from what is. If you have some time check out Nov 2021 – Love Lifted Me.
You have a listening ear if you ever need one.
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Thank you so much.
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These dialogues look a little funny and sad. However, how much pain and hard work lies behind these harmless dialogues is known only to those who have encountered such problems.
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Yes, very true.
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You inspire me to be more patient and to laugh a little more. I know it’s hard not to feel discouraged and tired. You are on your journey just as I’ve been on mine. God bless.
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Thank you Roger.
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It’s easy to say, “I need to do X, Y, and Z. Be patient.” Just do your best.
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Yes, thank you.
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Dear Sylvia, I have been through a similar situation with my mother. What I know is: your love and compassion shine through and I’m sure some days are so very trying, but clearly you are doing all the right things.
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Thank you Jet. I’m often short on compassion but I just keep trying. It’s a little like Groundhog Day and sometimes that’s a great thing and sometimes it’s exhausting.
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